Visitor Stats!

On my visitor stats map, it appears that several people visit my site from fields in the middle of nowhere .. now that is interesting, weird but interesting!

Several things!

This weekend went too quickly and I achieved far too little, but then sometimes something has got to give .. I am hoping that the ache in my back this morning is from mucking out 6 stables yesterday morning and sweeping the whole yard, rather than my kidneys telling me I am drinking far too much than is healthy!

Saturday I managed to vacuume my house, but I had to empty the container 3 times!  This is not because my house is excessively large or dirty (despite being a building site), just that my Dyson has not been working that well since certain people vacuumed up after taking the ceiling down and various other things .. and completely buggered it.  Despite having washed the filters several time, it wasn’t doing the job .. so I bought some new filters, changed them .. and practically sucked the carpet up .. it’s a shame Pig wouldn’t fit up the tube!  Good job done I’d say.  The only problem now is I am a bit obsessed by hoovering and specks on the carpet which is upsetting Cat as he is frightened of the hoover!

I didn’t work in the pub last Sunday night and was greeted last night with “we missed you” which I thought was incredibly sweet … apparently the girl who stood in for me last week didn’t uphold the Sunday tradition of “Gay Night” or subject them to the kind of abuse I excel at!  Also, she didn’t know what they drank, which in their eyes is a crime to beat all crimes!  (It isn’t Gay Night by the way, I just decided to call it that due to the majority of the drinkers being male .. we suspend Gay Night if any females come in .. it works quite well and confuses a lot of people .. especially Malcolm who is gay!)

A group of 12 18 year olds came in, but I swear they were 12, but a word to the wise .. one sure way to get me to ask for some form of ID is excessive swearing.  SWEARING DOESN’T MAKE YOU LOOK OR SOUND OLDER .. it just shows you are a pratt!  So I told them off and they went and sat quietly in the corner in the non-gay part of the bar and when their pocket money was spent .. they left!

The conversation got round to an incident that happened last Saturday just after I’d finished my shift.  I was going to blog about it last week, but didn’t really know how I should go about it .. so here is the conversation I had last night.

F:  So what’s happened to Paddy after he kicked the shit out of TheWelshGit?

Cat: Dunno, he got arrested and I’ve not seen him since.

F: So did you see what happened?

Cat: Possibly.

F: What’s this about him having to use crutches?

Cat: Well when he got up and walked out he went across the road, called the police from his car and was then seen talking to them on a pair of crutches which he apparently needs to be able to walk!  Personally if he hadn’t done so many steroids and maybe lost about 14 stone in weight that might help the fact that his legs find it difficult to hold him up!

F: Well, I think that whatever it was about TheWelshGit deserved it .. I’m surprised no-one has done it before.

At which point several people murmured their agreement. 

But obviously I didn’t see what happened last Saturday! OK!

Oh .. and apparently I have an admirer!

I’ve won ..

Apparently I have won 250,000 euros in a competition that I didn’t enter .. all I have to do is give them my bank details … I think I might make some details up but tell them to send me a cheque in the post .. thank you very much!  Do I hand in my notice at work now???  (yeah yeah I know 250,000 isn’t that much)

Top Tips for the Ladies!

1. Aspire to be Barbie – the bitch has everything.
2. If the shoe fits – buy one in every colour.
3. Take life with a pinch of salt … a wedge of lime, and a shot of tequila
4. In need of a support group? – Cocktail hour with the girls!
5. Go on the 30 day diet. (I’m on it and so far I’ve lost 15 days).
6. When life gets you down – just put on your big girl pants and deal with it.
7. Let your greatest fear be that there is no PMS and this is just your personality.
8. I know I’m in my own little world, but it’s ok, they know me here. (I think this one is especially true of me!) 
9. Lead me not into temptation, I can find it myself.
10. Don’t get your knickers in a knot, it solves nothing; and makes you walk funny.  (which is why I tend not to wear any!)
11. When life gives you lemons in 2008 – turn it into lemonade then mix it with vodka.
12. Remember every good looking, sweet, single male is someone else’s ex boyfriend!