“Hmm that green ..
plastic spoon doesn’t look a healthy colour to have your soup with!”
Me: “Er .. no, it is to eat my salad with!”
Easy on the eye chap from up the corridor: “Salad???”
Me: “Er .. it would appear that there are no forks, Waitrose were too cheap to supply me one and it’s either this or a green plastic knife”
Easy on the eye chap from up the corridor: “ah, I see you have a problem there, sorry I can’t help at all!”
The only thing you need be interested in is he has a look about him of my, according to my readers, weird crush of yesterday!
It would appear that possibly, just possibly, I am indeed .. a tart! 
I now open the floor for more abuse! 
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You mean you don’t steal excess cutlery from perveyors of finest comestables at every oportunity to store in your desk for precisely this eventuality? You are opening yourself up for abuse my girl!
Nothing wrong with being a tart. It’s being a slapper you want to watch out for
Oh the title is part of the first sentence. I was stuck with that for a while.
Yeah, salads. Pfft. Um. Hmmm
Everything to do with soups ought to be blue. A green spoon to eat a soup with is wrong. Even if you were eating a salad. You should have shouted at that man that one would never use a green spoon to eat soup anyway.
*rocks and mutters*
Green is good. You know, as long as it’s sharp.