Freaked!

The Admirer’s mum is currently in hospital - ”women’s things” he explained which actually explained nothing at all .. so I don’t really know whether it is serious or not, although she is one of those people that is always in and out of hospital so he doesn’t bother to ask too much, it’s just a fact of life for him.

Anywho, yesterday he said we should go and see her, which was fine by me, as I am good at doing things like that!  So having finished work, gone and bought the final bits for dinner and then had to abandon my shopping at the checkout to go back and buy her chocolates and some magazines (because someone sent me a text at the last minute) we headed off out.

We met his mum and dad in the coffee shop – which was fine, it wasn’t hospital-like, we had a cup of what hospitals like to call “tea” (although coloured water, heavily sugared is a more correct description of it) and then it was time to head back to his mum’s ward because this hospital is really strict on visiting hours.  As we walked up the corridor I was fine, but as we turned onto the ward and did the disinfectant thing, I totally freaked and was last seen running as fast as I could back the way we had just come, tears pouring down my face, with The Admirer running hard after me!

He eventually caught me, where all I could do was sob and try and calm my breathing down – my heart was going at 9 zillion miles an hour .. I then spent the next 5 minutes throwing up nothing in the toilet!

Why?

The last time I was in a hospital was to see my dad just after he had died.

My reaction came completely out of nowhere, one minute I was fine and the next I wasn’t - it totally freaked me (at my reaction as much as anything), just the look at the ward (although this was NOT the same hospital, NOR the same type of ward), the screens, the trolleys – even the act of disinfecting …