Potted blog ..

So, what’s been going on to get me in such a state (in more ways than one).

1. Mum sold family home of 33 years.  A good thing as she’s 78 and doesn’t need 4 bedrooms, 3 receptions and 3/4 of an acre of garden.  However, I didn’t realise how much security being able to “go home” gave me.  I lost it.
2. The Admirer had a series of niggles at me (generally after a couple of pints) and made several verbal attacks, whilst not particularly nasty (ok, how nasty do they have to be, but things were said), and were enough to set the warning signals flashing at me.  I lost it.
3. Every phonecall I’ve made to any of my siblings .. the question as been put to me “when are you moving your stuff into storage” (mum’s not out of the house until the end of July .. what’s the rush?)  I, certainly the way things have been do not wish to move bulky items to The Admirers, only to have to move them out again!
4. I will have no address, doctor etc etc etc

So, I did what I often do, and got myself into a state of complete, total and utter panic which did nothing for rational thought or reasonable conversations, because I was firing on panic fuelled adrenalin!

Anyway .. I put myself back on anti-depressents and am feeling much calmer already and able to think logically.

I backed away from The Admirer, as he accused me of being “clingy” and have been doing things my way, not asking for anything from him in the way of affection or cuddles (I’m one of those that needs lots ) .. nor have I given any affection or cuddles (he’s a taker not a giver!)

RESULT OF MY “BACKED OFFNESS” .. oh, he can’t do enough for me, demanding a cuddle from me before he left this morning.  Offering to take me with him tonight so that when he’s at the Chiropracters, I can go late night shopping .. asking if I want to walk round with him tomorrow when he plays golf ….

I’ve spoken to mum.  She will be in a position to help me in September.

CONCLUSION .. I’m feeling much much stronger and more positive than I have done in weeks .. !

Something very odd!

Ok, so today is my birthday .. but there are some things very odd about this one .. and it’s nothing to do with getting older (or possibly it is).

Pig never bothered with mine – although I had to bother with his – but this year, everyone seems to be pulling out the stops .. which is lovely .. but I am finding it a little strange – do they think I’m going to go postal?  I think it’s because most of them are happy for me.

• Mum forgot! which makes me more worried that she’s losing the plot – her wedding anniversary is on the 9th and she remembered that .. which is always the marker for my birthday) but then again she said she’d transfer some money to me today which hopefully will pay for my laptop (which no doubt will be delivered to work today when I am not there!    – although they will text me if it does)
• One of my sisters sent me a ”happy birthday to you (full words text)” .. BUT she has never done this before! (and invited me for lunch on Sunday .. again a first)
• The Admirer gave me a lovely card but is beating himself up that he has to work today, despite the fact that he has surprises planned for Saturday and Sunday and we are going out tonight!
• The Admirer’s parents sent me a card and a Body Shop voucher (I’ve only met them twice) – with the words “I hope that this is a better year for you” inside!

Ach, it’s too early for analysing .. that’s just the way it is at 8.30 in the morning when you are hungover and feeling crappy!

Oh, and Book of Face sent me birthday wishes .. which was sweet too!

Protected: Scotland …

This post is password protected. To view it please enter your password below:

Password:

Missing: Gekko!

So, I’m dog, rabbit and Gekko sitting as of last night.  So I get to the house and have a quick check on the inhabitants …

• Dog: Check
• Rabbit: Check
• Gekko 1: Check
• Gekko 2: (Fidget) .. missing!

Bugger!

I had to text my friend .. “er having a mini panic as Fidget does not appear to be in his tank“

A text came back saying that her little boy had probably put him on the bed whilst he cleaned the tank and obviously had forgotten to put him back, he was possibly hiding under the covers, or down the back of the bed  …

Double Bugger!

Me and the Admirer had been kneeling and sitting on the bed peering into the tank to see if we could see the ruddy thing!

I stripped the bed and was grateful to find that there was no squashed reptile .. so he’s probably down the back of the bed, but I can’t get the bed out because it’s sort of wedged in and if I move it I might possibly squash the gekko … I’ve left water out for it but even if Fidget does reappear, it wasn’t my intention to actually handle him!  Feeding them is enough of a nightmare!  The crickets I fed the other gekko I sort of opened the box and prayed that 2 would jump out!  I don’t do bugs and stuff!

First a missing cat (icklesis) which finally tipped up about 20 miles away from home, and now a missing gekko .. next I think my mind might go missing!

Three women went ..

to Oban .. three women came back .. I am really effing surprised!

• Icklesis hired the car ..
• Cat drove the car ..
• Icklesis kept saying “oooh look at that” ..
• Cat said “I fucking can’t because, for a change, I’m driving”

Mum just burbled in the back but was pleased I WAS driving as Icklesis was a tad gung-ho for someone who usually drives an automatic, but on the odd occasion, drove the manual!

• “You may, at any time Icklesis, change into another gear”

Also,

• Mum bought the food ..
• Cat cooked the food ..
• Icklesis ate the food and expected me to wash up too ..

More later ..