So what was ..

all the screaming and shouting about, merely a desire to let off some steam because I could?  Mere frustration at my current journey to work?  Things in general? Or one very definite person or people?

All of the above!

The last I heard from Pig was that I needed to sign some papers this week.  I have had no communication from him.  I daren’t go to the house as this unleashes a torrent of texts that just wind me up, piss me off and make me hate him more.  Ok, so maybe I should chase him, get it finalised and over with.

The Admirer is pushing things forward way too hard and fast, then says, “but I’ll wait for you” when I start stressing, then he pushes way too hard again and then gets sulky because I’m stressing again!  WTF??

I’ve told him that:

1) I’m not getting anywhere with Pig and dislike making initial contact because of the above which is frustrating – ok, so I am sticking my head in the sand.

2) Work is extremely stressful right now and the journey to work from either his or mum’s is absolutely vile, traffic-wise.

3) Icklesis’s stoopid cat has gone missing (now on day 4) and she is upset, mum is upset and to be quite honest, so am I! (and I miss my own cat).

4) I don’t like living at home because despite the fact that I am free to come and go as long as I let mum know whether I will be back at night or not and whether I am eating or not, she KEEPS doing my washing and ironing and I am soon going to be accused of treating the place like an hotel .. and you have to pay for an hotel! and no doubt she will eventually get fed up and chuck me out! 😦

5) I am actually quite stressed!

6) I nearly slept on the sofa last night as there was no room in the bed for me 😦

7) The Admirer asked me to take him to a golf tournament tomorrow at stupid o’clock in the morning and have his car for the day – as it’s on my way to work, that’s no problem, and then could I pick up his stuff later in the afternoon as he didn’t want to leave it lying around at the club – fair enough, I can do that!  Then he says, but if I want to go back to mum’s tonight that’s ok.  I was too tired this morning to question “did he still want me to take him or not?” and now I really can’t be arsed!  I’m certainly not getting up even earlier to drive to his, swap cars, drive him to the golf club and then go on to work!  (that is if he doesn’t do the classic .. “I’ll drive and we can swap when we get there” that soooo many men do with their wives at the station every day!)

I have a busy, stressful job to begin with working for someone who quite frankly has the manners of a raging mammoth, next week the boss is away which gives me room to breathe; and the week after I’m in Scotland with mum and Icklesis .. a week away with no phones, computers or internet – maybe that’ll help!

but I think what is really really eating me is, why do I have to go around with a grin from ear to ear 24-7 which is what the Admirer seems to think I should have – even with all the above going on?

Anyway tonight I am going to tell him we are no more for the moment! 😦

That’s jumbled, then but so is my head. 😦


4 comments so far

  1. blue soup on

    Ouch, what a mess. Sounds like The Admirer is being pig headed to be honest and is unaware of how difficulyt your life really is. Suggests that he has never really had to go through anything quite so traumatic. I am totally with you on telling him that enough is enough for the time being. You put yourself first, take some time out. He’ll learn to wait.

  2. Perpetual on

    I’ll echo what Soupy said. He keeps pushing you one way, in reality he is pushing you the other way.

  3. Dom on

    Like I said, he’s at Happily Ever After. You’re not even at Once Upon A Time. At the moment I’d concentrate on you. The rest will follow. If Admirer can’t handle that then you’re onto a looser with him.

  4. pinkjellybaby on

    goodness me it sounds like he’s being pushy!

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