Above and beyond the call of duty ….

Last night was undeniably the.worst.evening.I.have.ever.had.in.the.history. of.worst.nights.ever.had.

The Admirer has a stalker (aged around 70) .. actually she is very sweet in a very very very pathetic way.  For weeks she has been on at The Admirer to have dinner with them .. “oh and by the way will you be bringing anyone?” – “yes, my girlfriend”  – “OH!”

Eventually she got quite stroppy because he wouldn’t give her a date as we really didn’t want to go, but last night was THE night .. her, her husband and their 40’ish year old son (which got us wondering from the start).

I voted to drive and not drink and was incredibly good and stuck to water ALL night (despite eyeing the bottles in near desperation for something to ease my pain)  – I  drove home at 90mph in order to get some alcohol inside me before I slit my wrists!

To say the food was average (or undercooked) would be an understatement – were they trying to kill me?  The son is a cordon bleu chef (read cordon bleugh) and the.conversation.was.solely.about.golf/the golf club/golf holidays/golf stories …

If I had been drinking, I would have been in a sozzled heap on the floor – I think I only opened my mouth to put food in or drink my water.  At one point I nearly rested my head on the table and went to sleep.  At around 11.00 I looked at the Admirer with that “I think we ought to be going look” .. he took that as “I think Cat wants a cigarette” and, despite their protestations that I could smoke in the house – NOOOOOOO I NEED TO GET OUT OF HERE .. I went outside for one – blessed relief – to be alone with no talk of golf .. then I heard the words “ah another bottle of wine” … shit.fuck.bollox!

The Admirer finally joined me whereupon we had (or should I say, I had) the “we really should get going conversation because we both have to be up for work in the morning” .. “but they’ve just produced another bottle of wine” .. “so what, it’s red, they can let it breathe and have it tomorrow!” .. at this point I really really wanted to cry!

Throughout the evening they kept bringing it up that I didn’t play golf and kept asking me who I was going to get to teach me to play golf – trying to make a joke of it (my actual thought was no-one) but The Admirer said “it’s either me or mybestmate up the road” .. I opted for mybestmate .. at which they laughed, but I was deadly serious.  Mybestmate would allow me to have a laugh, especially if I was no good .. The Admirer might take it a bit more seriously!

Ok, so I’ve never played golf or had much interest in it, that’s not to say I might not quite like it – but pleeaaase, there are other subjects in life!  We even tried to get the conversation onto other things for the sake of the son, if not myself, but within moments it was back to golf again!

I think there was an ulterior “Golf Club’s best interests and some people aren’t doing what they should” motive to the evening .. but hell, why not say that in the invite and I could have a quiet night to myself at home.

Eventually I didn’t particularly stifle a yawn and The Admirer FINALLY said, we really should be going as we both had to be up early in the morning.  HALLEFLAMINGLUJIAH (but could he not have said that at least an hour and a half earlier!!!!)

The Admirer was incredibly sweet about the whole thing on the way home and apologised profusely about the fact that we had stayed on till gone 12:00 – he now owes me big time.

Anyway today I shall mainly be in the bathroom being ill if anyone wants me!


8 comments so far

  1. hoverfrog on

    Golf…*snore*…wha?..what? No, I’m awake. Seriously? Golf for an entire evening? Didn’t they even let you watch the telly? He most certainly owes you big time.

  2. cataclismical on

    Golf (and people I didn’t know, places I hadn’t been, courses I hadn’t played) for an entire 5 frigging hours!

  3. hoverfrog on

    It’s like hell on Earth but without the fire and smell of brimstone.

  4. cataclismical on

    ahh .. the smell of brimstone .. (but I think that should be Bisto!) … hell on earth?? hell anywhere in the Universe!!! 😀

  5. Dom on

    Do hope you’re feeling better. Take it this means you won’t be coming out to play 😀

  6. cataclismical on

    Better today after about 24 hours sleep thanks. 😀

  7. Perpetual on

    Five hours of golf chat is enough to make you want to hit the people talking about golf, with a golf stick.

  8. Bar-B-Q « Mindless! on

    […] the worst night ever of the other week I was not looking forward to it, although the Boss has always been very friendly […]

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