Archive for the ‘Cars’ Category

f**k you!

To the “shiny brand new Jeep” driver of this morning … JUST BECAUSE YOU ARE DRIVING A LARGE CAR .. DOESN’T MEAN TO SAY YOU ARE GOD!  IT WAS MY RIGHT OF WAY .. DEAL WITH IT!  DON’T ASSUME YOU CAN PUSH YOUR WAY INTO A LINE OF TRAFFIC .. IGNORING ME IN MY LITTLE CAR, WHO IS IN THE RIGHT!

*I’m in a bit of a bad mood!*

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Deep f**king joy!

Car pissing fluids from everywhere .. and no-one can do anything for 2 weeks!

Great!

To the woman in the Ford Focus ..

yesterday evening at 5.10 pm!

When you pull into the middle lane having just come off the M25, please ensure that you are driving at the speedlimit for the road and are in fact increasing your speed to match the drivers in the middle lane!  DO NOT MOVE OVER AND DRIVE AT 50 MPH!

ALSO

Use your REAR VIEW MIRROR YOU FUCKING IDIOT!  Do you actually realise what sort of accident you very very nearly caused?

Whilst your other half is on the phone .. very magnanimous of him to let you drive by the way, maybe somebody, other than your CHILDREN should be keeping an eye on what the FUCK YOU ARE DOING (and by the way, should you be driving with your children on board when YOU, VERY OBVIOUSLY, CAN’T DRIVE)!

If you had pulled off at the next exit .. which luckily for you, you didn’t .. I would have got out and I WOULD HAVE HIT YOU!

Very luckily for you the over-large Tesco lorry driver understood the situation and dropped back .. but for him .. there would have been DEATHS .. you meanwhile would have carried on .. completely UNAWARES!

WOMEN WHO HAVE CHILDREN .. SHOULD GIVE UP DRIVING .. THEY OBVIOUSLY LOSE SOMETHING DURING CHILDBIRTH – NAMELY THEIR BRAIN ..(if they EVER had one)!

Aargh .. and a new

tyre .. bringing my bill to £80!!!!!

Which means of the £90 I earn this weekend .. I still need to find another £30!

Methinks car has conspiracy against me!

In one hand .. out the other!

I got asked earlier this week if I would do an extra shift in the pub on Friday night … great that’s an extra £30 I wouldn’t normally have had .. £90 for a weekend’s work!

Then

The bill from the mechanic came in for fixing the oil leak on my car … £50 (but I can take £10 off coz I had to put diesel in his van when he serviced my car .. because the fucker always leaves me with zilch and I will not drive an unfamiliar car/van with no petrol in despite the fact that the owner says “there’s plenty”!) .. so bill down to £40 ..

Then

Last night there was an ominous roar from the back of my car .. GREAT .. now I need a new exhaust .. that’s another £50!

So this weekend I am working on behalf of my CAR!

NOT a happy bunny!