Archive for the ‘Not so funny’ Category

A 2011 review and a shite start to 2012 …

things were going well .. obviously too well!

I am permanently knackered from working and I’ve managed to introvert myself.  Going out is a chore as when I have free time, all I want to do is sleep (am I depressed?  I think so!)  My appetite is shot again and as I leave for work at stupid’o’clock, I generally forget to get anything out of the freezer .. shock horror I have learned to bulk cook and freeze it, or eat the same stuff 2 to 3 nights running .. with slight variations I might add.  I get up in the dark, go to work in the dark, sit in an overbright corridor and rarely see the light of day.

Work was going brilliantly .. I was to start work “in theatre” with a Senior Sister mentoring me – she suggested it as she obviously realised I was batting well below my intelligence level and would be an asset rather than a hindrance.  Urology wasn’t my first choice of surgery to enter into the world of – but you’ve got to start somewhere – don’t worry, I wasn’t going to be operating on anyone, just doing the menial jobs and getting “in theatre” experience. .. then the producer shouted “CUT”!

Since the end of November I’ve been sent to the new “day unit”.  I.HATE.IT! (as do most of the staff that work there) .. and if I “pop out for a breath of fresh air” .. the staff from upstairs (who I love and have a laugh with) shout “run Forest run” .. is it a mad dash for freedom – YES!

Initially the job was for 4 weeks, but due to laziness on other peoples’ parts .. I appear to be stuck there.  (OK so it’s a 5 day a week job – 7.30 till 4.00 .. in reality it’s 06.45 until whenever – but I get paid by the hours that I work).  The “whenever” is because in order to start a day fairly calmly, everything needs to be in place paperworkwise at the end of play the day before .. the patient notes don’t tend to get to me till 3.30 – I tracked in 30 sets this afternoon – the tracking itself is easy, it’s the checking that all the notes are there that takes the time – otherwise I get in shit!

Because of where I sit (and I know I shouldn’t start a sentence with “because”) .. I appear to be “Information Services” too.  The world and his wife come to me to ask for directions … I am seriously thinking about becoming a trolley dolley as my hand gestures are that good .. except the one that I really want to do, is not allowed!  I have to smile sweetly and try to be “pink and fluffy” in a non-sickly way, when what I really want to do is tell them to eff off and leave me alone.

However the next person who asks me “have you seen?” is going to get pounded!  I sit in a corridor!  I cannot see what is happening in the main drag, my crystal ball and x-ray vision appear to have failed.  I don’t see patients coming down from main theatre or the wards, as if people have passes that get them through another entrance I.DON’T.SEE.THEM!  The patient bit is a pain as I have to transfer them from ward to ward (which is actually a quite a big thing when you think about it – did the patient have the op or not??) .. but no bugger tells me!  One medical student looked at me most oddly when I told him that the crystal ball and x-ray vision were on the list of things Maintenance were looking into as they appeared not to be working!  Don’t ask me stupid questions, unless you want a stupid answer!

More later ..

Hmmm! Update

and yes, I know you all think he’s a wanker .. but .. (and this isn’t any defence of him before you decide not to read on ..)

He sent a text around 10.30am today saying ..

Hope hospital goes ok.  Will take a new pic and send later.  Have a good day and speak later. Xxx

So, having been to the hospital at 9.00 am as I’d told him I was!!!  I text back around 12.00 ..

Hospital ok.  Please don’t bother with a photo for me.  Have a good one xx

(actually hospital are really really pleased and things are going very very well now .. but just have to wait for Consultant appointment tomorrow night)  One is 99.99% healed .. the other getting there!  Whoopee .. dance around the room with joyousness (although not too violently still!)

I know that he had taken 2 different photos yesterday and sent them to different people .. one of whom was blogged about earlier (the other his mum).  Hopefully he might twig!

So, I digress, having gone to see a friend’s friend who has been given the NHS ok to have a boob job and discussed the pros and cons, shown boobs to etc, I popped to drop of some cigarettes to my friend who works in the pub.  Other friend (part of Couple 2) was there, having deposited the ones she’d bought because I’d run out of money and friend wanted 400.  She left and went back to work and the words .. “Couple 2 said you (as in me) had a really good time and were laughing and really enjoying yourself .. up until you had to get on the plane home!”

.. speaks volumes really doesn’t it??

Missing: Gekko!

So, I’m dog, rabbit and Gekko sitting as of last night.  So I get to the house and have a quick check on the inhabitants …

  • Dog: Check
  • Rabbit: Check
  • Gekko 1: Check
  • Gekko 2: (Fidget) .. missing!


I had to text my friend .. “er having a mini panic as Fidget does not appear to be in his tank

A text came back saying that her little boy had probably put him on the bed whilst he cleaned the tank and obviously had forgotten to put him back, he was possibly hiding under the covers, or down the back of the bed  …

Double Bugger!

Me and the Admirer had been kneeling and sitting on the bed peering into the tank to see if we could see the ruddy thing!

I stripped the bed and was grateful to find that there was no squashed reptile .. so he’s probably down the back of the bed, but I can’t get the bed out because it’s sort of wedged in and if I move it I might possibly squash the gekko … I’ve left water out for it but even if Fidget does reappear, it wasn’t my intention to actually handle him!  Feeding them is enough of a nightmare!  The crickets I fed the other gekko I sort of opened the box and prayed that 2 would jump out!  I don’t do bugs and stuff!

First a missing cat (icklesis) which finally tipped up about 20 miles away from home, and now a missing gekko .. next I think my mind might go missing!

Conned (and other stuff)!

My best friend has a habit of asking me to “animal sit” .. no problem usually as these have generally been a Staffordshire Bull Terrier and a cat, or as I politely call them “fluffies”!

One time she took the boundaries of friendship a little far and I had Bingo the Rat, but we (rat and I) became great friends once I had steeled myself to pick him up and play with him – knowing that he was a very well handled, friendly rat helped!

On another occasion I had the snake too, but that was only over night and all I had to do was check that

  1. it was still in its tank; and
  2. it had heat, light and water ..

Last week I got a text ..

Hiya babe, hope the holiday is going well and no-one has died yet (do these people know me too well?)Could you dog and babbit sit for me next week, Wed to Tues?

I replied that this was ok as the dog is old and sleeps alot after her exocet missile excitement over seeing me, and how hard can a rabbit be?

Only I discovered last night that I’ve been conned!

“Animal Sitting” does not just include fluffies!  It.also.includes.”scaleys”!

One scaley .. Fidget the Gekko (name suggest anything?) is well handled, the other is being “animal sat” for someone else (oh great – cue me killing it!)  Apparently I have to feed them crickets (live) and grubs (live) .. every other day!  My cup spilleth over with joy, can my life actually get any better?

I shall be going to meet the “scaley” side of the household later this morning to get distructions (very possibly literally) on how to care for these wee beasties .. I think The Admirer might have a new job!

PS: Incidentally on The Admirer side of things, we have had, since I have been back, some very long, in-depth conversations about what is going on from both sides and what I want (and don’t want) and what he wants and what we both want.  This holiday really helped clear my head .. I didn’t really “miss” anyone (other than my bloggy friends   😉  ) and I wasn’t plagued by “what am I going to come home to” which is what used to happen with Pig, and I was able to throw myself into enjoying it for a change.

I am much more focused on “me” and not letting stuff get to me .. I just need to keep telling myself that life is too short and to enjoy it! 😀


Charliebobsmum asked if I would like a sandwich from the bakers .. I said yes and told her what I wanted but said that if they didn’t have that, not to bother .. I was looking forward to the sandwich from the bakers on nice fresh bread .. instead, as the bakers didn’t have the tuna with (removable) cucumber that I’d asked for, she got one from the shop next door and this is like so totally not the same thing and my lunchtime disappointment is huge!

A “no sandwich” disappointment would have been easier to bear than the “wrong sandwich” disappointment.

Said sandwich is looking at me .. and I know I can’t take the cucumber out of it because it is all chopped up and mashed in with the tuna!

I am about to cry!