Archive for the ‘Stupid’ Category

The Green Eyed Monster #2 …

reared it’s ugly head again yesterday evening ūüė¶

Having just finished¬†a very pleasant meal with some friends of The Admirer, I received a text.¬† I hoped that it was a reply to my earlier text to someone who had offered to help me move and provide a van, answering whether they could help me or not.¬† It wasn’t!

The message read:

CC: “do you fancy dinner one night?”

I burst out laughing, because to my mind it was the funniest thing ever,¬†and I read it out … BAD MOVE!¬† I then got glared at!

Now if you went here, you would see that CC is really NOT my type.¬† He’s¬†puny,¬†short and dark and completely into CFC (BORING!!).¬† Both Pig and The Admirer are well over 6 feet in height and blonde – and anyway I didn’t want to go out with¬†CC 14 years ago, so what would have changed in all that time – and The Admirer knows this and he knows CC and he knows my feelings about CC, which is that¬†he’s a “friend”!

He sat and glowered at me all the way home in the car!¬† I explained all of the above, but he started giving me “you wouldn’t like it if someone sent me a text like that” .. well no, I wouldn’t I agreed, but how often do I get texts like that?¬†¬†Oh¬†and by the way is there anything I should know (as I know full well he sees an ex quite a lot and teaches her golf etc etc etc but that he doesn’t tell me!) .. but I let it go, because that’s the kind of person I am .. my reasoning is that¬†he’s told me his feelings towards me and I believe him, so if he’s that “into” me, then this ex can’t be a threat

Anyway, he said he “wanted to go and knock CC off his stool” for sending me that text … *deep sigh*¬†

It’s sweet that he wants to protect me and look after me (he refuses to take money off me for living there – despite that I have reasoned with him that I am using his gas and electricity which is now uber expensive), but it is getting increasingly frustrating that he is wanting to¬†control who I see or speak to and wants me to be at his place all the time .. example:¬† Icklesis is away, mum wants to go away for the weekend, I¬†have been asked¬†to cat sit which means staying at mum’s.¬† His reply to that was “bring the cat to mine” – errrr, it’s a cat,¬†you can’t do that with cats!!¬† He’s already been on one extended¬†leave of absence, I don’t need to lose him too!¬† (Also being at mum’s it will give me plenty of time to sort through the hastily packed boxes and also go through the ones that haven’t been opened in about 4 years and de-clutter … kills two birds with one stone).¬† I’ve told him he is more than welcome to come to mum’s too, but it’s up to him.

I don’t want to go out every night, get drunk and sleep around .. but I do want some form of my own life and friends of my own and I’ve tried explaining it to him but it doesn’t seem to sink in.

I am happy right now though and when things are good, they are very good, it’s just that little niggle at the back of my mind …

Just need to move my final bits out of the house this weekend! ūüė¶

Stop the world, I want ..

to get off.

My head is a bad bad place today and the FC had better watch out.  My fight or flight button is set to flight .. so at some point today I could get in my car and see how far up/or down the country I can get.

Pig said, on the phone before I left work last night, “we need to talk” .. so when I got home I asked him what it was he wanted to talk about?¬† His reply was that it could wait till later when he’d “calmed” down!??!

Later came, later went, nothing was said.¬† It nearly got into an argument when I asked him, again, what¬†it was he wanted to talk about, and he said that I obviously had¬†a guilty conscience¬†to which I replied “no, I’m just being nosy as usual”.¬† I still don’t know,

The Admirer succeeded in pissing me off – again .. so today I don’t really know who, what or where I am!¬† But I do know I don’t want to be sitting at a desk trying to function “normally” (whatever that is).

Pet Peeve #6

The use of the word “ya” in either texts of e:mails .. as in “See Ya Later” or “Love Ya” .. it’s really starting to bug me and I don’t know what to do to get them to stop doing it … Ok, I do know, I have to tell them!

Laters ūüėÄ

In a funny ..

place today .. I can’t even put it into words .. and I don’t even know why!

My throat ..

is really really sore (as in swallowed a packet of razorblades sore) .. it swelled up so much in the night last night that I couldn’t either breathe or swallow and it frightened me quite badly, which added to the problem as I stood gasping for breath in the kitchen trying to get some water down me.¬† It’s much better this morning, but I am constantly aware of it!

I know that this is an offshoot of me being stressed, not eating properly, drinking and smoking too much .. but it’s been 2 weeks now .. I’m starting to think there is something really really wrong!